12 really awful Christmas gifts
We’ve all received Christmas gifts where we thought “What on earth was he/she thinking?” – being British though, we smile politely and thank them for their present. We’d be willing to bet that the even the worst gifts you’ve ever received haven’t been quite as bad as some of these…here’s our roundup of 12 really awful presents which you might just be unwrapping this year…
#12 – A urine holder disguised as a golf club
Enthusiastically dubbed “the greatest golfing gift on the planet”, the Uro Club is a golf club which doubles as a pee receptacle so you can relieve yourself when you’re out on the course. It even comes with a
golf towel privacy cloth so that you can make it look like an innocent putt.
#11 –The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification
Ever been visiting Eastern North America, seen a discarded shopping trolley and thought “If only I could identify where that was from…”? If you have then this is most certainly the book for you. 176 pages of stray shopping trolleys – you need never be unsure again.
One reader said “I can not tell you how much enjoyment this pulse-pounding, excitingly accurate, and wonderfully narrated piece of suspense fiction has brought me.” – we can’t help but feel he is somewhat overdoing it :-)
#10 – Grey Goldfish Necklace
Ladies, be careful when you wish for ‘anything that sparkles’ this year – you might just find your present staring right back at you when you unwrap this terrifying necklace. So if you’re looking to impress the ladies and terrify children and you’ve got a $128 budget then the Grey Goldfish Necklace is the gift for you…
#9 – Exotic Toad Skin Purse
Apparently designed for ‘someone who likes something a little bit different’, the exotic toad skin purse is made of real cane toad leather. It looks a lot like Marino Leather Exports (the manufacturer) have dried out a toad and then sewn a zip on – however they make it, it certainly is a unique gift.
#8 – Sigmund Freud Action Figure
Freud, the legendary psychologist, determined that much of what we do is driven by sexual motivation. Purchase this action figure for your partner and chances are that action is the last thing you’ll be seeing this Christmas.
#7 – Cat Bum Towel Holder
Very few bathroom accessories will impress as much as this towel holder shaped like a cat’s behind – guaranteed to bring an air of elegance to any bathroom it graces.
#6 – A guide to making your own sex toys
Nothing says raunchy and exciting like a homemade sex toy constructed from bits and bobs found in the man drawer. Still this practical guide to making your own sex toys is great way to bring you and your lover closer this Christmas – well, closer to you sleeping on the sofa that is.
#5 – World Egg Day Kid’s Activity Set
Stuck for something to buy the kids? Forget a Nintendo or a PS4 – this World Egg Day Activity set is sure to keep them amused for hours as they colour the pictures and hear about all the amazing egg related tales. Colouring pencils are included so get your order in now before these sell out…
#4 – The ugliest Christmas jumper on the planet
The Christmas jumper – what a great gift. The more homemade the better.
#3 – The Cell Mate
Who needs handsfree or a bluetooth headset? The Cell Mate means you can truly appreciate the call quality of your mobile phone and strap the handset to the side of your head. Brilliant. This is really a gadget that only Alan Partidge is going to be jealous of you owning
#2 – Human tooth jewellery
It turns out that the tooth fairy is a woman called Polly Van Der Glas who lives in Melbourne, Australia. She is busy recouping all those 50p pieces turning real teeth into jewellery.
When your wife or girlfriend asked you for jewellery for Christmas, we’re fairly certain this isn’t what she was talking about!
*In case you were unsure; Polly isn’t the tooth fairy, but they are real teeth in her jewellery!
#1 – Shag yourself slim – enjoyable ways to lose weight
It might not be possible to find a more inappropriate book to buy a wife or girlfriend. Wrong on so many levels, gifting the book Shag yourself slim says to her that you A) Feel she needs to lose weight (when has a gift that says that ever been well received?) and B) That she isn’t satisfying you in the bedroom. It’s like ordering double shot of self-esteem reduction for the lady in your life.
If you’re stuck for ideas – try our Christmas gift guide
UncategorizedDecember 9, 2011